brother would have never hurt anyone, so it really told me how powerful the feeling was. Watching her go through it and evolve -- not only was she radiantly happy, but she was completely upfront with it. Seeing how she handled it -- she would talk about it if people wanted to -- showed me this was meant to be. CNN: Yet, you do candidly write about having unexpected anxiety about the news. Haskell: I was afraid for her. I was flabbergasted that this was going on. There was shock and apprehension. I had been all for more diversity, and challenging binary roles for male and female behavior, but it did n't somehow include my brother changing sexes. The one thing is that we are born male or female, and we need those boundaries to rub up against. I think one interesting thing a feminist said to me is that I seem to embrace these binary principles in the book. I do believe there is such a thing as a male and a female; we need these dichotomies, like good and evil. We make these divides to keep our footing in the world. The sex we 're born is not immutable, and that is very hard to grasp. You ca n't really call her decision a choice. It's too painful, too perilous, it has to be an urge that we do n't even have a word for. CNN: What was your takeaway from Ellen's journey ? Haskell: I think a lot of people who are transsexual emphasize the strangeness of it all. For example, the